Wait...Where Did All My Money Go? How I Became a Financial Therapist

I want to share a little anecdote about what brought me to this work.  

Upon moving to New York City, I realized, rather quickly, my bank account seemed rather low at the end of each month. But, I had a job I loved, which paid me more than I had ever made before...  

What was going on? Did I miss something? Where was it all going?  

Despite all my bills being paid and my necessities being met, I wasn’t saving money the way I thought I “should” be. 

When I examined my spending habits, I saw my money was going to debt, credit cards, student loans, car payments, happy hours, brunches, and endless NYC happenings.   

It wasn’t until a chance conversation with my cousin about personal finance and debt that my interest in money and exploring my finances was sparked. 

Up until that very point, I had never really dived into a conversation about money. In my eyes, when it came to money, people either had it or they didn’t and at that point… I was on the “have not” list. (I say this, aware of the level of privilege I do and do not have). I truly believed that at a certain income point -- you know… the secret number we have in our minds when life is just “easy”-- I would be good.  

So young, so inexperienced in money.  

And, I was in for a rude awakening. That brief conversation with my cousin sparked a fire in me and I needed to know more. So, I headed to the place most of us go to when we need more information… Google.   

I started consuming articles and books about debt and budgeting. The more I learned, the more I crunched numbers, and it wasn’t long before I started feeling anxious about the amount of time, effort, and space my debt would take up in my life.   

I had walked into the unhinged spending trap.  

It turns out it doesn’t matter how much money you make if you are spending it all.   

But, I was now becoming more financially literate. I have the verbiage to be able to name it now, but at the time I just thought I was money-obsessed. Things needed to change and they did.   

Over the course of the following years, I got myself on a budget, which I now affectionately call a “Killing It” plan. The plan allowed me to get rid of my car loan and fund a large portion of my wedding. Naturally, my Killing It Plan has evolved to our Killing It plan with the evolution of life and family. I still have my student loans, but I am no longer losing sleep about them in the way I was in the past.   

I share my story because all that time spent reading and becoming financially literate shifted my thoughts about money and myself; some would call this my money mindset. I felt alone in my debt, shameful and filled with anxiety.   

Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche says, “In order to shake that shame, share with someone you trust, you must give voice to the thing you feel shame about. In that safe environment, you are reassured. Shame thrives on loneliness and keeping quiet.”   

Her words began a shift in my work, both professionally and personally. I was excited when my clients would talk about money because I had gotten so much relief in learning more about it, but it wasn’t until I found the Financial Therapy Association (FTA) and the Center for Financial Social Work (CFSW) that I truly understood the importance of bringing money into the therapeutic conversation with purpose.  

Now, having been certified, I am happy to specialize in financial therapy and wellness. For me, it is exciting to support someone in their journey to build money systems, heal from financial traumas, and realize how to live their best life with a healthy relationship to money.  

So… What is Financial Therapy? 

The FTA defines Financial Therapy as a process informed by both therapeutic and financial expertise that helps people think, feel, and behave differently with money, to improve overall well-being. In other words, similar practices to traditional therapy, but specifically focused on how you interact with money and how it impacts your feelings and behaviors.  

I look forward to this journey together as I share my experiences in work, life, and money.